On the downward slope towards term 2

I've been neglecting this, with good reason, there having been no school for over a week now (that doesn't excuse me from having written nothing since two weeks before the end of term, but whatever).

The last week of term didn't contain much of any great excitement, as Reception don't do a nativity or Christmas concert or suchlike. Apparently this is because of how tired Reception children get in their first term, and nothing to do with the propensity of over-stretched Reception mothers to sob pathetically at the spectacle of small children singing 'Away in a Manger' (or is that just me?) There was a Christmas party, which required a small plate of sausages and some money. Daughter used her money to buy a bright pink bauble (which doesn't go at all with my silver and red tree) and something else, which escapes me now. Husband had to lend another mum a pound for her child, which said mum paid me back the following day, only for me to have to borrow an extra pound from her to pay for a quiz sheet. Which we have now lost.

There was also Christmas dinner in the canteen on the Friday, about which I heard nothing, par for the course for school dinners.

Reception and Key Stage 1 finished at their normal time on the Friday, and Key Stage 2 15 minutes early - ie the same time. Okay, NOW I see why they're normally separate. The doors opened at 3pm on the dot and the bigger kids came out like a tidal wave just as the parents of the smaller ones were trying to get round the corner to where they're let out. It was madness. Daughter came out in tears, and when I finally calmed her down enough to speak I found out she was upset because she had too much to carry. I'd taken everything off her by this point! She had her book bag and water bottle as usual, and a large paper folder of festive bits of art, which was all a bit too much. Later that day (while Husband and I were out drinking on respective work dos, having delivered Daughter to her grandparents for the night) a small bag of Daughter-made festive sweeties arrived in the porch, having obviously been forgotten and subsequently hand-delivered.

Christmas has been very nice, now getting a touch of cabin fever so got a couple of play-date-ish things planned. Daughter is getting ready to celebrate a new year by having her tooth fall out. I can't believe she has a wobbly tooth - it seems like five minutes ago I was going around saying I couldn't believe she had a tooth (at four months).

Rite of passage: Christmas fair

Despite having said to one or two people today that I consider myself immune from parental-involvement-guilt (being a governor) I did try to make some contribution to today's Christmas fair. That contribution being:

- a small box of board books for a nearly-new book stall
- 23 cinnamon-cranberry and white chocolate muffins (I made 24, but the paper plate supplied by the school was smaller than my own paper plates, so I could only fit 7 on it, which meant there I could only send in 23)
- half an hour personning the loot bag stall (which turned into 50 minutes because no one relieved us)
- £2 actually spent on the loot bag stall, 50p on face painting (butterflies were discounted, although Daughter actually had a rather lovely and ornate butterfly), £1 on some sort of draw, and whatever Husband and Daughter spent while I was on the loot bags

It was all fairly jolly, although extremely crowded (Daughter had a meltdown at not being allowed to stand in a queue which didn't exist for something we couldn't work out). I saw one face from work that I'd not seen at school before, and numerous other familiar school, work, nursery or any-combination-of faces. Bumped into the chair of the board of governors, and her husband who is tres senior at work - latter said hello to Husband, by name, as we went in our separate directions. Husband said 'is that how you get to be senior, by remembering people you have absolutely no reason to remember?' I said it certainlly seemed to help, and could almost hear him mentally recalculating his career prospects (he is truly atrocious at remembering who people are, especially out of context).

I was much taken by the human fruit machine, consisting of teachers doing funny arm/hand movements in response to a bell, and plucking fruit from a box. THE PTA mum was doing the announcements for that. She is a proper larger-than-life looking character, but nonetheless comes across as oddly approachable, at at least from a distance. I'm fairly favourable inclined towards our PTA after they supplied wine at the new-parents evening, though they do seem as scarily organised as PTA as reputed to be (my co-stallholder pointed out the woman who came and reorgaised our bags half-way through our shift as an example). Anyway, I've said a million times and will again - I'll play to my strengths, and full PTA involvement would not do that. I'll bake, I'll man a stall, I don't sell raffle tickets, I don't have ideas, I don't organise people, I will cough up. Job done.

(Disclaimer - I do have ideas, just not fund raising social ideas!)

Settled

"Mummy?"
"Yes"
"I am used to school now."
"Oh ... that's good."
"Yes, I used to go to nursery, and now I go to school, and I am used to school now. I have been waiting to be used to school, and now I am."

So that's good news. She has been a lot more favourably inclined towards school since she discovered school does have a television after all (they seem to watch Come Outside on it).

Speechless

I'm struggling to express how stupid it is that the local authority can allow an admissions appeal, pushing class size over 30, then with the next breath come down on the school for having an oversize class. And that the suggested solution, should it not be possible to even up classes within the year, is to put a child in a different year group, but continue to teach them as the year they're supposed to be in. As in put a child who will turn 6 within the academic year (ie Year 1 age) into a class of rising 7s (Year 2 age) but continue to teach them to the Year 1 syllabus. *boggle*

Same local authority that has been paying supply teachers working in one school out of another school's budget - endemically, across the region - and is incapable of putting this right.

Well, I guess the former thing is a widespread stupidity of the system, rather than just our local authority, but still. On what planet is it better to take a child out of their peer group and put them in a completely different group, singling them out by teaching a different syllabus to them because they're younger, that to have a class of 31?

Yes, had another governors' meeting. Didn't get to talk numeracy to the relavant teacher as she was going home sick. I asked how to get in touch with her in future, and was told I would need to find her after school. Ho hum. I guess that's the way to do it. But I'm a bit of a control freak; I like to arrange things with people. Plus hanging around after school doesn't go down well with the Daughter. I had to ask her teacher after school today if a letter had made it into school last week (it was sent on the same day as dinner money which apparently *didn't*, hm) and after about 15 seconds' conversation with her was told 'we could have been home by now, mummy'. Monkey.

Anyway, Daughter is coming on leaps and bounds, and is starting to read. Yay! Very exciting. We now have word strips coming home - the first three are duplicates of the first three in the phonics book I've got, but #4 starts with 'pub'. I think it's a ringer. The second word is 'gun' - it's the non-PC word strip.

Money, money, money ...

Title refers to the Finance & Premises Committee, meeting this evening. However, this is the school blog, not the school governor blog, so what has Daughter been up to? She had a proper afterschool playdate, where I picked up both her and her friend. They played, they had tea, friend was collected (and threw a huge paddy because she didn't want to go home - am perversely flattered by this). She had school photos taken - whole school one day, and individual the next. They're very nice. I have a soft copy of the individual one, and need to order a copy of the whole school one. She went on a field trip. To a field. They had to take wellies in, named wellies, pegged together, in a named bag. I guess they have problems with wellie loss. I put her initials on the clothes peg I used to peg the wellies together, just to be on the safe side. And this afternoon she went on a reciprocal playdate, which also went very well, except at the end when her friend had a tantrum which I'm expected to see replicated at home any time soon (according to Husband it involved some new and innovative ways of misbehaving that Daugher won't have previously been aware of).

I wasn't there because I was Financing and Premising instead. We approved spending some money on some fun things (play equipment and books) and some dull things (insulation and checking out what needs doing with the roof). I was handed a FMSiS document in which I have to record my governor competencies. Obviously having got myself through the heavy-handed promotion process at work in May, and now being partway through converting my old-style (experienced-based) professional logbook in the new style (competency based) I am delighted to be doing this. Not. I think I can consider myself competent in 'understands finance and budgeting' and 'has numeric and analysis skills' and that's about it. Most of the rest is quite school-specific. Ah well.

Oh yes, Daughter had a half term as well, obviously. Husband took the whole week off, and I decided on the Tuesday that I could do enough hours Monday to Wednesday, plus the following Monday (when my parents had Daughter overnight) to add to a little flexi credit I already had ... and not work Thursday as well as Friday. So that was pretty good, especially as I wasn't very keen on cycling to work four days in a row (and on the Tuesday he didn't even take the car out, I am so furious!) She seems quite happy to be back at school, so all is well.

Have I broken Amazon?

Was I right about Daughter coming home more dishevelled in winter uniform? Not entirely although she did come home one day with her collar turned inside out, which on closer inspection (erm, when she got changed for trampolining) was because her entire polo shirt was inside out.

Next week she will have to be more hevelled on TWO separate days. Wednesday - whole school photo. Thursday - individual photo. I hope they don't do PE with Reception in the morning and then photograph them in the afternoon. Complicating factor - I will be here on Wednesday morning, albeit in a hurry to get out and go to work, but I won't be here on Thursday as I'm away with work. So Husband is entrusted with getting Daughter to school in a reasonable state on Wednesday (with some oversight from me) and then doing it completely unsupervised on Thursday. I will have to leave instructions. He can't do anything other than put her hair in a ponytail (not that I can do much more) but from the front she won't look any different in a ponytail or a plait. Pigtails would have been nice, but not to be.

Lunch continues to go fairly well. Daughter apparently completely forgot that she had a second compartment in her lunchbag one day last week, despite having had lunch from it at home on most days three weeks in a row, and didn't notice she had a sandwich. She had a school dinner on the other day she was in for lunch, and couldn't finish it because she had to go and play with her imaginary friends. She does appear to be making some real friends, but has a large coterie of the imaginary variety at the moment (originally six, but they keep having babies).

I've had to turn down the chance of some initial governor training because I'm away with work. Meanwhile, I've bought a book on the subject, but have neglected it because the same Amazon order also brought me Battle Royale, which I'm currently reading.

I had hoped that my Amazon recommendations would become an even more peculiar mishmash as a result of this - school governance, manga, children's books and slow cooker recipes. But I think I might have broken their algorithm.

The Guv'nor(s)

First governing body meeting this evening. Husband came home early from work to allow me to go and have tea in the staff room first (the staff room into which we are only allowed by invite; a bit like vampires). Teachers and governors were all introduced to each other, so now I know the first names of just over half the teachers (would be nearly all were it not for my faulty memory) including Daughter's teacher. I promise not to tell her ... especially given that her teacher has the same name as one of her best friends.

We went through the head's report to the governing body, approved a conduct and capability policy we didn't get to read (it's pretty much a three-line-whip from the local authority, hm), amended and approved an arts policy, volunteered for committees, and discussed cycling to school.

I am on the Finance and Premises committee, and also the Appeals and Complaints committee (which has never met).

That's all. Oh, and met the other parent governor who works for my employer, so I will have to have a chat with him at work some time (get the goss, etc).

Daughter wore her winter uniform for the first time today - was going to hold out until October, but it was a bit chilly today, plus I think the novelty got her into it a bit quicker than if she'd worn her summer dress! I do expect her to come back looking a lot more dishevelled after PE though - far more of a faff to get into a polo shirt and pinafore than into a dress.

Not a lot to report

Where did the last nine days go?!

We're now on the cusp of the next stage of school settling in - when the morning sessions start to have lunch appended to them. Exciting! It's also when I start to ease myself back into work, which is less exciting.

Daughter is having a packed lunch on Monday and Wednesday, school dinner on Friday. This is with familiarisation with school dinners in mind, plus her nursery friend is doing the same, and if they have different lunches they'll be at different tables - woe. Friday is also chip day.

I have to send the money in on Monday, not entirely sure how this will work - she'll need to give the money in, having taken it out of her bookbag, but will need to understand that it's not that day that she'll be having the hot meal.

Several of us were up at the school office on Friday, having waited all week to receive a menu for school dinners, and having NOT received a menu. I ended up being tasked by Daughter's teacher to find out what week the school is on, because armed with that knowledge you can find out online what is for dinner next week.

My hour and a half introductory governor session on Thursday turned into the entire morning, which was okay as I had no other plans. We (new foundation governor and I) attended assembly - the first assembly Reception children had attended. I could see Daughter down at the front, was willing her NOT to turn round. It was a very good assembly (actual subject would give away the identity of the school, so not saying anything) but Daughter couldn't remember anything about it when I picked her up.

First governors' meeting on Tuesday - my parents were supposed to be taking Daughter for the time between me going to the meeting, and Husband arriving home, but they're now otherwise occupied. So I'm going to see if our neighbour can fill the gap, otherwise Husband will have to come home early.

Sickie Day #2

Didn't take Daughter into school today, having established there is a rather vague 24-48 hour exclusion for vomiting, provided it wasn't demonstrably caused by too much birthday cake. She is fine now, although the fact that she had the worst tantrum of her entire life at her friend's house this morning leads me to think she is not quite right yet.

I escaped the bedtime routine last night to go to the new parents' meeting at the school. There was wine! I approve.

There were various bits about school routines which I've taken on board and filed away somewhere, but not too much of great significance.

My only notes concern:
- having been told not to bother with plimsolls until the spring term, as they don't go outside for PE before then, we've not been told they ARE needed, for going on the new climbing equipment, so I now need to source size 10 plimsolls in late September, which may be reasonably challenging
- we've been advised that if our children are going to have school dinners at all, it's a good idea to make sure they have them early on, as they will get a lot of help and supervision at lunchtime (hot or packed) when they first start staying, so it's a good opportunity for them to learn how school dinners work

I asked the mum we saw this morning about this, and her daughter is going to have school dinners on a Friday (chip day) and maybe one other day. Daughter is quite keen on this little girl at the moment (only one in her half of the class from nursery) so it'd be nice if they went to lunch together, and they'll only do this if their lunches 'match' (ie packed or hot). So I think we will at least do the Friday thing. Head is rather dismissive of the healthiness of packed lunches, but I don't see what's so intrinsically healthy about a school menu which potentially allows a child to have something-with-custard for pudding four days a week.

Also on the subject, it's a bit strange catering companies inventing things to put on their menus - bit trick to help your child choose what they're going to eat if you haven't a clue what the dishes are! For instance, if you Google 'larkhay biscuits' (one of the puddings) you get five hits, all of which are school menus by the same catering company. Mysterious biscuits!

Other than that, I have food for thought on whether it is appropriate to let a child play around a war memorial, and had a chat to Daughter's class teacher and both teaching assistants, who all asked after her. Apparently all the children were concerned about her too, as she's the first child to be taken out of the class poorly. They were very kind and said it was quite understandable that I'd made a wrong call (both TAs are parents too, but not the class teacher), which made me feel better. Insistence on mentioning that her lips had gone blue - not so much.

Back in tomorrow - Daughter was disappointed not to go in this afternoon, which I am actually really pleased about.

Unrelated to last night - I need to think about whether to put Daughter's name down for the work playscheme. I don't intend to use it this Christmas or Easter, or probably even next summer, but if I want the option I may need to do something about it soon-ish. Although I'm not contracted to work the long holidays, it might suit to have her go and do something for the day during the holidays anyway, to give us a little break from each other, and give her something to do. I suspect not for the foreseeable future though, as she's not really the kind of child who can just drop into a situation, make friends and have fun, she needs quite a lot of settling in. But it's worth considering and finding out more for the future.

Malingering (not)

Daughter is off school sick. I suspected her of malingering (if that thought doesn't cross your mind when faced with a small child who doesn't really want to do something, and is claiming a tummy ache, you are a better/more trusting/more gullible person than I am) and eventually got her to school. I was very understanding, I swear, and made it clear to her that not going to lunch with her grandparents, and not seeing her friend this afternoon were simply consequences of being ill, not punishment. She managed to get up eventually, got into her uniform, arrived at school at 9.20, came home, phoned Husband to tell him all about it ... as soon as I put the phone down, it rang again, with Daughter's class teacher saying she was as white as a sheet and shivering under a blanket in the book corner.

Oops.

So I have learned:
- Daughter is maybe not quite as good an actress as I was thinking
- super-late arrival of Reception children is not a hanging offence
- wobbly Reception children get to sit on teacher's knee when they arrive
- there is a lovely clean, snuggly blanket for shivery children

Which is all good. On the minus side, I have been able to get into school twice without any sort of challenge other than buzzing in - both times I was buzzed in, there was no one paying much attention in the office so I just walked straight through and down the Reception classrooms.

Daughter is now asleep on the sofa while I'm starting to go through the National Training Programme for New Governors workbook - swot. I've not been given this to do, I just figured I might as well be well informed before I go to my first meeting.

No election required

I appear to be a parent governor. There were three people proposed for three posts, so I'm in. One is carrying on from a previous term, so it can't be too bad. Can it? I've been to talk briefly to the head, and spoken to the chair of the governing body on the phone - we are meeting next week.

So, that's quite exciting. Eek!

I've also had sight of the second booklet (because it does exist, it's just a little behind where it should be), having emailed its author. I suggested I could take a look at it, as a fresh pair of eyes. I made a few suggestions, but it's really very good, useful.

What else? Oh, the milk saga. I tried to call the Cool Milk agency, but got no answer, so convinced myself there was no way that the registration had worked (someone else said they'd had an email on registering) and tried again. Still no email, so later I managed to get someone on the phone. Indeed, neither attempt at registering online had done a blinkin' thing, so I did it over the phone. I now have an email, and Daughter IS getting milk next week. It's a good job she's not five until March, if she was a September birthday we'd have missed the limited free milk at this rate!

I'm holding off on volunteering to help in class, for the time being. I don't know yet how much time being a governor will take up, but the first meeting is in a couple of weeks, and is at 4pm, so will either involve Husband coming home early, my parents taking the Daughter for a couple of hours, or perhaps one of the neighbours having her for an hour or so, just to fill the gap between me going to school and Husband coming home. So I may not want to introduce extra complications into life right now.

A foray into the school office

Well, not INTO the office, but valuable time spent poking my head through the hatch. I don't actually know who I spoke to - you see, if I was any good at schmoozing and networking I'd have made sure I knew exactly who it was - but she was enormously helpful and lovely.

The results of my enquiries:
- Daughter is still not on the milk list, but might be for next week, I need to check again after pick-up today (so much for a slick online process; it's over a week since I registered her)
- I have a school timetable, it is identical to the LEA's (fine) but does seem to have only been distributed via the end of term newsletter, which would again be fine if Reception parents without older children had been sent a copy
- the Reception parents' meeting is on the 17th, again this was in the newsletter, and we are supposed to be hearing about it soon - this is pretty short notice for anyone who needs to arrange babysitting cover in order to go (eg single parents or anyone whose partner is away)
- there is no second booklet, despite the note in the first booklet that says there is a second booklet to come!
- apparently we should have been sat down when the children visited last term, and told about various practical things like milk and PE kits, but this didn't happen - this is 'should have been' as in 'this used to happen' rather than 'this should definitely have happened'

It seems that part of the problem is that there are very few parents as utterly clueless as we are, and the induction procedures have maybe got a little slack for that reason. Over half this year's Reception intake are siblings (official siblings, ie siblings of children further up the school) and at least two children are younger siblings of secondary age children, so while they are not siblings in intake terms (ie get preference over non-siblings) their parents HAVE been through the system before.

It sounds like the website is out of date because the woman who does it has been busy doing network stuff instead. I may have inadvertantly not-quite-volunteered to help out. Will see if anything comes of that.

And if I want to help out in class I need to talk to the class teacher (even though it'd be the opposite class, as that's the policy in Reception). It wouldn't be until after half-term, and I need to be CRB checked (I knew that, and I've been 'done' before, so no big deal).

And the biographical note

Brief biography, biographical note, statement - I've sealed the envelope and I can't remember what it says? I've interpreted it to be a personal statement, it's not exactly a manifesto, but a little more than a biography - wasn't too sure that much of my 'biography' would be relevant.

Anyway, here it is:

"I am new to the school, with my daughter [name] having just started in Reception, and am keen to get involved in the life of the school. I am an internal auditor at [employer], where I have worked for twelve years. In this role I have gained knowledge of governance and financial management, along with skills in time management and communicating with a wide range of people. I work part-time, which gives me time to dedicate to helping the school continue to improve, and means I will be visible to other parents at school pick-up time."

I raided the annals of Mumsnet for some tips. I feel a little funny about the last bit, but I thought it was worth making it clear that I'm part-time and will do pick-up, so I'll be around to talk to people, plus I'm not some high-powered long-hours person who will have nothing to do with the school apart from parachuting in for evening meetings! I suppose the fact that Daughter has just started is biographical detail - plus I figured that if I weren't standing and was faced with a load of candidates I knew nothing about, I'd be pretty inclined to vote for a fellow Reception parent, all other things being eequal.

So tomorrow I shall drop it into the office. I also need to ask about a term timetable (still working off default LEA one, but have just seen my friend's daughter's timetable, at a different school, and it's different to the LEA one!), whether Daughter has made it on the milk list, and when the new parents' meeting is.

Today I've also tidied the conservatory and done my evening's volunteer work, so I feel quite virtuous. Daughter has been to see her nursery best friend, a 'playdate' (yuck) which started with tears and ended with tears, but went unusually well in the middle. Oh, and the world failed to end. Good day all round.

I has signatures

I've got a proposer and a seconder (#1 buttonholed at school drop-off after she returned the socks I'd lent her daughter when her wellies leaked last week, #2, my next-door-but-one neighbour called in on on the way home from the school run).

Now I need the personal statement. I don't know how to start it. Still, it's good to have the signatures sorted, now it's just up to me. The deadline is actually 9am on Monday, so I am going to try to get it in before then.

Talking to my neighbour it seems like a few things are wrong admin-wise this year. Her son is in Yr1 and her daughter in Reception, and she's seen a difference between the two years' intakes. Notes to school don't seem to be getting out of bookbags at the moment. Not sure what is going on with Yr1, but I wonder with Reception if the parent helper is just too busy looking after the little ones to do this job? Being optimistic here. The milk seems to have been a problem all round, and still no timetable forthcoming. She did tell me though that the class list was a parent initiative last year, so I'll stop waiting for that to miraculously appear. I'm tempted to organise it, but she's said if no one else does it she will, so I will step back and try to stop being such a control freak.

Anyway, sitting in my neighbour's house drinking coffee after a wet school run is just the ticket, but it wasn't getting MY house tidy, so I've come home. Not that blogging is getting my house tidy either of course.

And now for the masterplan ...

... take over the world. Failing that, become parent governor.

To this end, I have recruited one person to either propose or second me - I need someone else to fulfil the other role, of course. There is nothing explicit that says Husband can't do it ... but given that most people won't have a clue who I am it would probably look much better if people who I'm not married to think I'd be a good governor! I have someone to ask tomorrow.

Also to this end, I have made sure there is nothing terribly embarrassing on my Facebook profile.

There is a fair bit of information online about what governors do - given the rather short notice to get nominations in, I'll scan it, but at a first glance (and this was my understanding) it's not unlike being a non-executive director.

In addition to getting my seconder (or proposer, depending on whose name goes where) I need to submit a 100 word personal statement. So, what will make other parents vote for me*?

I am thinking of:
- my professional background as an auditor (governance, and some finance)
- the fact that I'm a Reception parent, and therefore will serve the full four years (which would be true of Year 1, 2 and 3 parents as well of course)
- proximity to the school?

* this is assuming it's contested, there are three posts vacant so it's possible not

The Second Day

Much as I would like to reel off the names of the children in Starting School here (see post title) I can't remember them in order. David and Sophie and Sushma and Robert and Alison ... or thereabouts.

Second half day, of course. While I'm here thinking I cannot believe we have six weeks of this part-time messing about still to go, I have a friend in ... Bolton, I think ... who has had to talk her son's headteacher into letting him go part-time for just three days, rather than straight in. There's got to be a middle way, surely?

Meanwhile, after school this afternoon we went to see one of Daughter's nursery friends. She has just had a home visit from her Reception teacher, and both teaching assistants. She starts next week, and I think is only part-time for two weeks. This seems like an option - don't start the Reception class with the rest of the school (ours did, to the day) but use the time instead to do home visits. That way children in nursery could stay there a little longer, making their parents lives easier, and the teacher (and teaching assistants as applicable) could get a little one-on-one time with each child, something our school hasn't done.

Making life easier for parents though - not sure if this is even a consideration. I have been told (and should stress told by parent with child at a different school) that the headmaster 'doesn't like working mothers'. I am sincerely hoping this is just gossip and sour grapes. There are three mothers just in Daughter's half of her class (fifteen children) working for my employer alone!

What is annoying me at the moment though is that they haven't yet updated the website with the school diary for this year, neither have they notified us of the term dates for the year. I am working purely off the default county timetable, which I hope is what they are working off! I will start to prod shortly (I'll be very disappointed if NOTHING comes home tomorrow in the bookbag) but don't want to do it just yet. It's very well saying we can have a chat with the teacher at hometime, but at the moment the children are being very carefully let out one by one, and to wade in there and need to talk to the teacher would be highly disruptive.

Ho hum.

Hometime is funny though - they line up, the teacher gets them to spot a parent and their little faces light up, and off they go. So cute. If they don't see anyone, back to the back of the queue!

In other random news - first school dress lasted two (half days) and has a mystery mark near the zip, clean one tomorrow; first pair of socks worn were trashed yesterday, made her change into jeans to go on the trampoline in the wet, and wet brand-new jeans + white socks + rain = blue socks, oops; water bottle got lost yesterday but has turned up today. Also I tidied the hall and have dedicated one shelf to my bag collection and one to Daughter's. Go me. Living room tomorrow.

The big (half) day

Daughter is at school. We were ready to go about 20 minutes earlier than we needed to be, so Husband could see her all dressed up (and hair done, which is a change from previous uniform fashion shows). I mentioned about ten minutes later that I could see children on their way to school, and she wanted to go. We held out five minutes and off we went.

Despite only half Reception being in it was very busy. It doesn't help each child having at least one, often two parents with them, not all of whom are actually looking out for other people's small children milling around their knees. We waited a while, with Daughter getting increasingly attached to my leg, then went in.

We found Daughter's peg - right in the corner, which is handy to remember, although a bit lacking in space. She is next to the only child from nursery in her half of her class, and sharing a double peg with a little boy. There doesn't look like an awful lot of space with these double pegs rather than separate ones - not for a PE kit, art apron and full winter regalia. Daughter's is pretty full with the PE and art stuff plus a light waterproof. Water bottle goes on a shelf above the pegs (will be interesting to see how much has been drunk when she comes home) and book bag in her drawer.

I was alright until I got back to the house and spotted another first day mother getting into her car opposite and looking a bit pink and watery. But anyway, now I just need to do constructive things for the next couple of hours.

Free milk, and a free rein on packed lunches

Conversation with my neighbour re milk has been preying on my mind. She mentioned how last year she was the only parent who'd not paid for milk for her son at school, and he went two weeks without it and it was a bit shaming. This year she'd got it into her head she had lost an invoice for her daughter's milk, and got her husband to call the school. Talking to me, she decided she probably hadn't had an invoice, because they won't have milk while they're part-time.

Okay, I went away and thought 'hang on, they're in for alternating mornings and afternoons, and they have milk in the mornings, so surely they WILL have milk while they're part time?' Today I was looking in the prospectus for something else, and it says they're entitled to free milk until they're 5, forms can be collected from the school office.

Argh.

One - when trying to figure out what I need to do for the start of school, an obscure paragraph in the middle of the prospectus is not my first port of call.

Two - getting things from office = not so practical when school is more-or-less closed for six weeks.

I know schools are not literally shut for the six plus weeks of the summer holidays (my mum was a teacher) but I wonder if they forget that we don't ALL know this, and that even parents who do realise this DON'T know when there will be people in school who might be able to answer questions. And supply forms for free milk. I feel we've been rather left hanging for the summer, and think a little extra contact wouldn't go amiss.

On the plus side, the milk people have a freephone number, and even better, a website (coolmilk.com) so I didn't have to drag myself and Daughter (not dressed yet) the enormous distance (200 yards?!) to the school for a form. Apparently they may well not deliver on the first day of term anyway, so she may not miss out on much.

Another bonus was talking to the other Reception teacher, so I got info without making a blithering prat of myself to Daughter's teacher (I always make a blithering prat of myself over the phone). She was very helpful and reassuring. Best thing of all ...

... there are NO rules about what can go in packed lunches. Thank you, thank you, thank you. It's nice to be treated like a responsible grown-up (even when you secretly suspect you're not one at all). Yes, she said they encourage a healthy lunch, but no absolute bans. The one thing she said was not to send too much, and to remember that at first she will come straight home after lunch!

I am much reassured. So homemade flapjack will not be classified as an unhealthy cake and be banned, and the occasional Mini Roll (mm) might just find its way in there. Excellent.

Daughter has actually had a practice packed lunch today. She had:

- one round sandwiches (Laughing Cow on Best of Both bread)
- teeny packet Mini Cheddars
- carrot sticks
- apple
- cereal bar
- banana milk

We concluded that a whole round of sandwiches was too much (although she often will eat this much if she's starving and there's not a lot else on offer); carrot sticks went mostly untouched (tough - they're still going in); not much apple was eaten (will look out for teeny apples, and send grapes or suchlike when possible); couldn't open cereal bar (pre-open it); banana milk barely touched the sides.

Daughter declared this an excellent packed lunch, and wants exactly the same every day. Laughing Cow sandwiches every day, even though she'd originally requested ham (but we didn't have any in). No pitta, no bagel, no roll or wrap, just white(ish) sliced. I told her she'd get bored. She begs to differ.

We then practised packing it all up again and not leaving the Klippit (on the Mini Cheddars; she can't open packets), ice pack, box (carrot sticks) or sandwich wrap behind.

Dunlabellin

All labels now sewn in/ironed on/written on. What do you mean, I have to do this again next year, if not before? Unfortunately my reel of white cotton is missing in action, so the final label (painting apron) is sewn in with black cotton when white would have looked better, but no great disaster. I just hope that no buttons fall off white polo shirts ...

Have managed to politely answer Husband's query as to had I not thought of just writing on the labels already in the clothes without poking him in the eye with a needle.

I've been thinking that we're pretty lucky with the uniform in some respects. There are only two school-specific items available - jumper/cardigan, and tie. A lot of other schools seem to include logoed polo shirts and PE kit, and other things. I believe at primary level schools can't make uniform compulsory at all, let alone specific items, but of course where there is a uniform there is pressure to wear it, and where there are particular items, there is pressure to wear them.

I rather think state schools (primary and secondary) should only be allowed to stipulate certain items (tie, and jumper/cardigan/sweatshirt/blazer) and beyond that only specify colours. It's nice to have a certain degree of identity with a school badge etc, but if you say the uniform is logoed this and logoed that, even if you explicitly state that unlogoed equivalent is okay parents will feel pressure to buy the logoed stuff, and children to wear it.

Personally I'm cheerfully ignoring the bit in the school's 'for parents by parents' guide which says please put children in proper shirts and please put them in a tie - the photo on the front of the very same guide shows at least one child in a polo shirt, and no more than half of them wearing ties!

Former call centre employees for the win

I have my broadband back again. I had to tell the PC and laptop where their DNS servers were, because it appeared the router was lying to them. Bad router. On to the naughty step with you.

Our neighbour came round this morning. She has one child going into Reception with Daughter, and one about to go into Year 1, so is ideally placed to be well informed (having recent experience of starting school, plus caring about it because she's about to go through it again).

So I learned that the school is rather, erm, laid back about telling you what you're supposed to do with your child in the way of reading, homework etc. Which surprises me, maybe they change in later years (school is supposed to be quite academic, which is why this surprises me). On the plus side, she described going to her first parents' evening for her son, and the teacher telling her that she'd picked up on the 'tell' that her son is feeling insecure. Which I thought was pretty good for someone in charge of 30+ children.

30+ because the other thing she said is that there are 34 children in each Reception class. Is that allowed?!

She was also talking about eight days at half term, which is worrying me as I haven't been given a timetable by the school, just used the generic county one. I really hope it isn't eight days. I'm pretty annoyed that we haven't had a timetable actually - we know officially when the children start, but nothing else! I really hope this isn't the beginning of a constant fight where the school fails to acknowledge that parents have lives (and JOBS) and therefore do need to know a few things in advance.

My mum is converting on of Husband's old shirts into a deluxe painting apron for Daughter. :)

Leaving nursery, and birthday parties

I am having 'issues' with my broadband, so I have no idea if this will actually end up being posted.

Fortunately there is no more online shopping to be done, although it would be 'nice' to look at the balance on my credit card ... and when I say 'nice' I mean 'quite alarming really'.

New ballet skirt has arrived, so we're all set for that now. Other Ballet Mum has confirmed the starting date and time as well.

Daughter has just received a second fifth birthday party invitation - it's been interesting to see the pattern in birthday parties developing. There wasn't much around her second birthday, just invites from the two little girls who came to her party. Then for her third she had a joint (village hall) party with one of them, and there was a rash of reciprocal invites in the weeks after. For her fourth, we did the same thing, then there were the reciprocal invites, and then some more about three months later. Now there are a couple for the first month of school. I guess people are more likely to have actual parties as their kids get a little older.

Tomorrow is her last day in nursery. She seems delighted. Obviously I'm glad she's excited about starting school, but I'm a little baffled that she is quite so pleased to be leaving nursery. Baffled, not troubled - it's not in an 'I hate that place and am glad to leave' way at all. I have wondered if she doesn't realise it's for good, but on questioning she does seem to appreciate this - though it's hard to be sure. She's promised that she'll go in to show them her uniform; I'm not sure when we'll do that.

Meanwhile, I am composing a list of things to do while she is in school and I am not in work. Currently I have:
- sort out dentist (my dentist has left the NHS, and I need to either find one who hasn't and is taking on patients, or sort out Denplan or similar)
- get a blood test taken (I have an underactive thyroid and need this monitoring)
- call prison about bike (okay, that really needs explaining - local prison is refurbishing old bikes to send to developing countries, and I've persuaded Husband he does NOT need to keep his old bike in the garage for no reason, so I need to arrange to drop it off)
- new to the list - call Tiscali about my malfunctioning broadband, oh JOY
- go clothes shopping without a bored small child - now that really does deserve JOY
Right then, Ctrl-a (select all), Ctrl-c (copy), then hit 'publish' and hope for the best. Grr.

Tic

I am compulsively checking out the 'back to school' parts of shops to the extent that it's become a nervous tic. Even at the rate at which Reception children are reputed to lose socks, we have enough. I think. Do we need more socks? I seem to be directing my starting-school-by-proxy anxieties into the form of socks.

I did get Daughter something new term but NOT school related the other day - new ballet shoes. I'm flying in the face of the received wisdom ('Reception children will be terribly tired at the end of the school day, even if they are used to full-time nursery, so don't take them to after-school activities') by keeping up Daughter's two classes. Ballet will be Friday 3.35, which I accept may be a disaster, although the Reception children who've made up this class for the last year while Daughter was in 'baby ballet' at 3.00 seemed to have coped perfectly well. Most of the time anyway, there have been a couple of meltdowns. The other class is trampolining, which will be 4.15 on a Monday. Ballet is only half an hour, and not awfully energetic. Trampolining is an hour, and obviously a lot more dynamic. It's the one I really want her to keep up though, as the skills she's picked up would fall away to a greater extent than ballet - I think.

I hope she can cope, if not, we just drop one or both.

Counting down

We're into the real countdown now, and I'm wondering whether we're actually going to hear anything from the school before Daughter starts. I'm not quite sure what else we need to know, but I do feel like I need a bit of hand-holding.

Daughter has actually just this moment* asked if today is a nursery day. No, I said, it's Friday, you don't go to nursery on a Friday. Then, seizing the opportunity, I said she only had three days left at nursery. Smiling she said 'that is not good!' And then she said she was going to tell two of the members of staff about it. Well, no, I said, you can't tell one of them, she's not in work next week. That's why she gave you a big hug yesterday.

I didn't go on to say 'and that's also why she was crying when she gave you that big hug'. I just did a lot of staring at the ceiling and blinking.

More of the same next week. Sigh.

Since this morning, Sainsburys have failed to provide any school tights, but my Next delivery (due yesterday) did include two pairs. Age 5-6, they fit nicely in the legs, and will also keep her armpits lovely and warm.

* when I started writing this over twelve hours ago

Too late to buy

Now I'm pretty sure that when I was at school we used to moan about the shops putting their 'Back to School' signs up the moment we broke up for summer holidays - not two weeks before the schools break up, as it is now. Has it got worse at the other end of the summer holidays? I don't know, as I don't remember anything about getting school uniform, it just seemed to be there. But now it does seem rather awful.

We have most of Daughter's uniform, but I decided today I'd get her a couple of pairs of tights in case the long socks really don't cut it in colder weather. We only looked in a few shops, as I didn't want to drag her across town, but even so I'd have expected a little more success.

BhS - had a fair amount of stock, but mostly in black, navy and white. Grey only seemed to come in 128cm height, or a hip size - the latter presumably for teenage girls rather than littler ones, by which time they're all in 7 denier tights no matter what the weather. Or trousers.

Mothercare - have sidelined their school uniform (not that the selection was good anyway). Well, obviously it's far too late to be buying uniform, with only a whisker over two weeks until term starts. Plenty of grey tights - in age 2-3. Okay, I'm happy for the parents of very tiny Reception children, that they can get uniform in appropriate sizes, but it would be nice to be able to get stuff for a slightly more robust four-year-old.

John Lewis - for a start, while they have a 'back to school' section at the front of the store, it includes no tights or socks, which are with the rest of the children's clothes. Nothing in Daughter's size again.

So it looks like cold legs for winter. Or online ordering.

I'm also rather baffled by the consistency with which local shops stock summer dresses in green gingham, but NOT green knitwear. I'm beginning to think it's a good job that Daughter's school sells logo cardigans and jumpers, because I'd be struggling to find a plain bottle green cardigan elsewhere. Actually I AM struggling to find one, but I'm not too concerned as I only wanted one for spare. Fortunately the fibre content of the official school one (acrylic, acrylic, and more acrylic) should mean that it'll pretty much dry the moment it comes out of the washing machine, so if it suffers any mishaps it can probably be turned around for the next day.

Tights aside, we are now all set, with a few omissions:

- need to ask my mum nicely if she will turn one of Husband's old shirts into a painting overall (I lack the sewing wherewithall, and the elastic)
- need to practise eating packed lunch (undoing pots and packets etc)
- need to get fit of ballet shoes checked, and (probably) buy new ones - this isn't exactly school-related, but required about the same tme

I am in denial about the bottom-wiping issue, as is Daughter, judging by her reaction to my reasonable request that she give it a go herself.

New shoes and ...

... lots of other stuff.

Now, the Other Blog is where I will go 'squee, I bought Daughter's schools shoes, they are ...' and link to the (probably) Startrite website. But this is about the practicalities. This is going to be, day by day*, what it's like to send your child off to a state primary school in 2008.

Daughter's school uniform consists of grey skirt, trousers or pinafore (trousers or shorts for boys), white shirt, official school cardigan or jumper; school colour gingham or candy-stripe dress in summer; white socks and black shoes. Pretty straightforward, although on describing it I was asked by a colleague if it was a private school. Is it unusual in that it specifies cardigan or jumper rather than a sweatshirt, and shirts rather than polo shirts? Oh - and there is a tie.

We were sent a guide for parents, by parents and teachers. It says to please put your child in the tie, and please put them in shirts rather than polo shirts, unless you think they'll struggle with either, or fiddle with the tie. Against which, in the safety of my own home, I rebel. Daughter is FOUR, for heaven's sake, she will fiddle with the tie, and she is not the most grown-up and independent of four-year-olds, she will struggle with a shirt. Why inflict a shirt's-worth of buttons on a child (and her teacher/teaching assistant/parent helper) when you can reduce it to a mere three buttons on a polo shirt?

Anyway, I've closely inspected the photos on the website and in the prospectus, and peered out of my living room window at the children on their way to school, and they definitely don't all wear the tie! Phew.

So, in interpretation, this is what Daughter has lined up in her wardrobe waiting for September:

- two grey pinafore dresses, selected for long zips (£10 each, cheaper ones often have short zips)
- three gingham summer dresses, one zip-up (£8) and two with buttons (£4 each), I figure it may still be warm enough for dresses in September, and if not they're in age 5-6, so should (!?) still fit next summer
- six white polo shirts (they come in packs of three, £3 per pack)
- official school cardigan (£9.50)
- five pairs of long white socks and five pairs of white ankle socks (I think £11 in total)
- plain white t-shirts for PE (£3 for a pack of three)
- black shorts for PE (£3 for two)

So that's £68.50 on basic uniform. The shoes will take it over £100, and then there'll be plimsolls to buy in the spring - they don't do PE at all in the settling-in period, which is 6.5 weeks, and after that PE is indoors in bare feet for the rest of the autumn/winter term.

It's not a fortune, but it's not inconsiderable either. But I could have economised on the pinafores, easily, and bought only the cheaper summer dresses - or no summer dresses at all. The cheapest way to do it, I would think, is to buy skirts which will do for all year round, provided not excessive growth takes place. But I think pinafores are easy to deal with for a small child, and certainly easier for a small child to keep vaguely smart - no coming untucked. And the gingham dresses are lovely in the summer. I could also have bought a generic school colour cardigan - seeing as the uniform is officially optional (I think this is a legal requirement of state schools?) I don't see how they can actually mandate a particular cardigan.

During the first of Daughter's one hour twenty minute familiarisation visits to the school, I visited the school shop for a few items. One was the cardigan, and the others were a bookbag (£3.50), water bottle (£1.50) and PE bag (£1.50). It seems no bad thing to have the bookbag so that I'll know exactly where to look for letters from school, and homework when it comes. The children are encouraged to have a water bottle to drink from as they please, and £1.50 seems like a fair price, and the school has a requirement for PE bags for the reception class (don't ask) which means most off the peg ones aren't appropriate. I was going to ask my mum to make one, but at £1.50 she couldn't undercut the school shop! She has customised it though, so it stands out a little from the rest.

There's another £6.50.

And finally, lunchtime accoutrements - Daughter wants a packed lunch. I unwisely asked her if she wanted school dinner or a lunchbox while she was happily tucking into a Waitrose cafe lunchbox, so of course she opted for a lunchbox. She is sticking to this. So she has a completely unnecessary Disney Sleeping Beauty lunch bag, which she will probably want replaced with High School Musical before Christmas, and a pink gingham reusable sandwich wrapper.

£14.00 in total.

£95.50, and no new shoes yet.

You'll also notice that the nametags are missing. I'm not counting those - hey, I have basic accountancy training, I'm not counting the cost of something that'll be used over the next ? years! Anyway, I bought most of them four years ago when Daughter started nursery. I quickly came to my senses and realised that labelling a baby/toddler/pre-schooler's 'nursery clothes' potentially means labelling ALL their clothes, and used hardly any of them. So I have a vast number of sew-in and iron-on labels at my disposal. I've used sew-in for the items that might be passed or sold on (dresses, pinafores, cardigan) and iron-on for those I expect to get trashed, and/or were extremely cheap (polo-shirts and PE kit).

* although the process actually started last May, when we visited the school, and happily decided we liked it enough not to bother visiting any others. In fact, really it started over seven years ago when, with child-rearing in mind, we bought a house not far from what we vaguely understood to be a good school.

The Basics

Us:
Daughter - 4 years old at the time of writing, hence off to school in September. Born pretty much half-way through the school year, so she'll be neither the youngest nor the oldest. Education to date - been at nursery since she was six months old.
Me - 30-*mumble* years old at the time of writing, and not getting any younger. Sigh. I work in the public sector, currently three days a week. Education to date: first year to do GCSEs (that dates me), four A-levels (took three years to achieve), one 2.1 degree from a redbrick university, professional qualifications.
Husband - 30-*mumble* PLUS ONE MONTH ha ha. Same public sector employer as me. Does stuff with computers. Education to date: ditto on the GCSEs, A-levels of some description, first-class degree in hard subject from slightly comic university.

The school:
Location: approximately two minutes' walk away. Yay! Urban/suburban location on the edge of a major town; fairly affluent middle-class catchment (not that it actually has a catchment area of course).
Status: voluntary controlled (this is the slightly less alarming incarnation of the faith school, where the LEA is responsible for admissions criteria and funding, and employs the staff); it's a CofE school with no religious entry criteria.
Ofsted think: it's outstanding.

The plan:
I'm switching my contract to term-time only at the start of September, i.e. I will only be paid for 42.2 weeks out of the 52.2 in the year, but the pay will be spread evenly over the year. I'll be 'unpaid' for the long school holidays, and take half-terms as annual leave.
I will work approximately 08.30 to 14.30, with Husband taking Daughter to school and me collecting her.

The back-up plan:
The doting grandparents (my parents) twenty minutes up the road.

The philosophy:
I wanted minimal dependencies when Daughter starts school - no reciprocal arrangements with friends, no breakfast club, no after-school club, no relying on the grandparents, etc. Just Husband (school drop-off), and my (our) remarkably accommodating employer (term-time contract). That way it can only get better as Daughter acquires friends, and is a more appropriate age for before/after school activities - can't it?

Mission Statement

I thought about calling this blog 'Slipping Through My Fingers', after the Abba song in Mamma Mia which nearly caused me an embarrassing 'weeping in the cinema' incident - it struck a chord, with my daughter about to slip through my fingers and off to school. But no, I should be positive about this new chapter in our lives, so the blog gets a ... neutral name.

The idea is to separate out my thoughts and experiences of sending my PFB* to school from my other blogging presence (which will remain unlinked-to from here**.

I will endeavour to be as candid as possible, without identifying myself, my daughter, her friends, the school ... and without embarrassing my daughter. She's four, my mere existence isn't an embarrassment yet; I'd like to keep it that way for a bit longer.

* precious first born, although she is actually a POB
** I will probably link from there to here, but not from here to there